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When I have tears stuck this is one of the song that helps lure them out.

Manifesting miracles.

When I was three, I went to see the Broadway revival of Hair. As we were dancing in the aisles at the end, and day-glo body painted naked hippies were slipping out of stage traps I turned to my Dad and said "I'm going to do that, too. I want to be on the stage."

Within 2 years, I was.

When I was six, I knew I wanted to go to NYU's prestigious theater school, and within 12 years, I did.

When I first became a part of the BDSM and Leather communities, I didn't see many people who looked like me in leadership positions...didn't see many people who were submissives or slaves presenting, taking leadership roles.

Within 3 years, I was.

Then somewhere along the way I became reluctant to ask for what I wanted. I was drowning my sorrows, along with my power, in an effort to drown out what I then perceived as overwhelming pain.

The past 3 years, 8 months and 22 days have seen me re-learning how to crawl, toddle and walk, emotionally, mentally and, to some extent, physically. Being sober doesn't mean your life snaps back into place the day you put down the booze. Its a process. Long, ongoing, committed. It is a process of putting down some things, and picking up others. It is a process that sometimes feels like everything is being pulled out from under you. The Dominant Guy laid a (modified, for the G_d leery) Charles C. West quote on me a little ways back that goes something like-a this:

“Many of the times we turn to our higher power when our foundations are shaking, we find that it is our higher power who is shaking our foundations."

So yeah. MY higher power has 4 arms and the whole prehensile nose thing going on, so when he shakes shit up he does NOT fuck around ;-)
I am putting down many, many of my previous attachments to outcome, and taking people, places and things on their own terms. One of the attachments I've felt slipping away in the past few years is to the idea of what "Home" means. And this is where my call to the universe comes in.

And someone reading this might be able to answer this call :-)

I have been anchored in San Francisco for close to 13 years, and it is a city I love. But like many things you love, sometimes they grow threadbare, don't fit well, or your needs aren't being met.

My life, as it is, as it looks, and as I love it, is more encumbered than enhanced by having what traditionally looks like a "home." But I'm not prepared to walk away from a rent-controlled flat either!

What to do...? Well, I don't rightly know just yet. I do know that miracles happen. I do know that, if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need. (Hey, they didn't knight Jagger for nothing.) I know that there are other people who lead nomadic existences, as I do, who might be open to a kind of "time-shared" life. I know that I might have something even more amazing than a rent-controlled flat... something I can't even see because it is so bad-ass, that is waiting in the wings for me. I know that my hometown of New York City, calls to me every now and then. I know I am intrigued by the lure of Chicago. I know that these are cities with vibrant Theater and Leather communities. I know that, somewhere, I have a new opportunity waiting for me, even though finding a place to alight for a couple of weeks or months here and there seems insane. A freelance actress and Leathersex / BDSM Educator has no business dreaming so big, right?

Well fuck that. Give me the good stuff. Surprise me with bounty, show me that I can be who I need to be, and that I am absolutely worthy of having my wishes come true.

So there it is, universe! I got business in a big city...light the way.

And hey, if you happen to have a miracle up your sleeve, drop me a line and sprinkle miracle on me.

 


Just not in the eye. Please. It burns.

Well, I'll do it Cake style :-p

"The Lily's Revenge:" a sweet victory.

Performer types know how nerve-wracking it can be to wait to hear about a role. Imagine my torture for three months waiting to hear back about a part in a show!

I can now safely share the amazing & stunning development on which  I've awaited The Word since September and only today put pen to paper for my contract.

I will be starring in the West coast premiere of the Taylor mac EPIC extravaganza "The Lily's Revenge" this spring at The Magic Theater.

And when I say EPIC I am NOT fucking around: this show clocks in at about 4.5 hours, with 5 acts and features cast of 36 performers.

See? EPIC.

Taylor Mac is the flower...I will be playing the curtain. Yep. Feel it.For those who love me and wanna come see the show, start planning now. I mean it. I don't wanna hear you fucking forgot, or whatever. even East Coast peeps have p-l-e-n-t-y of time to get a cheap-ass JetBlue ticket and come out here.  The tickets are already on sale, because its fancy like that.

I'm fucking thrilled to be playing The Great Longing. Which is personified by a theater curtain. Don't worry abnot it. Most of the cast are revolutionary flowers.

You really just have to come see it.

Especially if you wanna see me dance around nekkid.

A bit about the show:
Winner of a 2010 Obie Award!

When a flower falls in love with a blushing bride, can he complete a quest to become a man and win her love? Should he? Playwright and burlesque performer Taylor Mac, along with dozens of local Bay Area artists, tackle love, marriage, and Prop 8–using vaudeville, haiku, drag queens, ukuleles, feminist theories, dream ballets, public dressing rooms, and everything else in Mr. Mac’s theatrical arsenal, A fantastical cornucopia of theatre, party, circus, and social experiment, The Lily’s Revenge cross examines with humor, heart, and irreverence one of our oldest institutions.

The Lily’s Revenge is a rolling world premiere with Magic Theatre, HERE Arts Center (New York), Southern Rep Theatre (New Orleans), and The National Theatre of Scotland.

And if you've got a hard-on for the theater, you oughta get on-board The Producer's Circle.

Yay!

Let the celebrations begin...before I start FREAKING the fuck OUT again :-D
Eeeeeeee! SANG it Tevin!!
Dammit. I keep hoping I'll recover from the tumor that makes me love Eminem. No dice.
My bad, ese, for tryin' to get crazy with you.
Just checking on your fuckabiluty, WTC. Carry on.
And if you said "This life ain't good enough"/I'd give my world to lift you up/I could change my life to better suit your mood/'Cause you're so smooth
The ONLY reason I still give a fuck about the holidays.

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